SHE WAS A TEN


TWO WEEKS AGO THIS MORNING, I SAW LAYING NEXT TO ME,
THE WORST MORNING AFTER, I THINK I'VE EVER SEEN.

HER TEETH WAS IN A CUP, ON THE TABLE BY THE BED,
HER HAIR WAS IN THE FLOOR, INSTEAD OF ON HER HEAD.

I SEEMS TO REMEMBER THINKING SOMEWHERE LAST NIGHT,
THERE AINT ENOUGH BEER OR DIM ENOUGH LIGHT.

THIRTY BEERS LATER, SHE WAS QUEEN OF THE NIGHT,
SHE HAD A PRETTY SMILE, AND HER DRESS WAS REALLY TIGHT.

WITH HER FINGERS IN MY HAIR, SHE CALLED ME MACHO NAMES,
I WAS ALL A QUIVER, AND MY BODY WAS AFLAME.

NEXT MORNING WHEN I AWOKE, THERE SHE WAS IN MY BED
I'D CHEWED OFF MY ARM, IF SHE HADN'T MOVED HER HEAD

WHEN I SAW MY REFLECTION, I FELL TO MY KNEES,
I DIDN'T KNOW THE GUY, LOOKING BACK AT ME.

THERE WAS HICKEYS EVERYWHERE, HOW'D I DO THIS TO MYSELF,
LAST NIGHT SHE WAS A TEN, TODAY SHE'S A MINUS TWELVE.

I HEARD THE BED A RUSTLING, OH, LORD, SHE'S GETTING UP,
THE STRONGEST THING I HAD, WAS THE COFFEE IN MY CUP.

LEANING AGAINST THE VANITY, MY FINGERS GRIPPING THE WOOD,
IF I HAD IT IN MY POWER, I WOULD VANISH IF I COULD.

SHE PEEKED AROUND THE DOOR, A BIG SMILE ON HER FACE,
SHE HAD PUT IN HER TEETH, AND HER HAIR WAS BACK IN PLACE.

SHE SAID, "I GOT A GLASS EYE, AND REMEMBER PUTTING IT UP,
I THINK I DROPPED IT, IN ONE OF YOUR COFFEE CUPS."

SOMETHING TOUCHED MY LIPS, AND I LOOKED INTO THE CUP,
THE EYE WAS LOOKING BACK AT ME, AND I STARTED BACKING UP.

SHE RINSED OFF THE EYE, AND SOCKED IT IN HER HEAD,
I CRAWLED ACROSS THE FLOOR, AND FELL UPON THE BED.

SHE HOPPED ACROSS THE ROOM, FROM DOOR WHERE I STOOD,
PICKED UP THAT PRETTY DRESS, "AND A LEG MADE OF WOOD!"

SHE STRAPPED ON THE LEG, AND HEADED FOR THE DOOR,
I ROLLED OVER PRAYIN', "LORD, I WON'T DRINK ANY MORE."

I TRY TO STAY AWAY, FROM ALL THE PLACES SHE GOES,
I FOUND A VIENNA, N'THOUGHT IT WAS ONE OF HER TOES.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY, TO TELL IF A WOMAN IS REAL,
SEEING HER PICK UP HER PARTS, AINT MY IDEA OF A THRILL.
BEN R. STEEN © 2002